Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Week 12, Top 10 Meltdown, I mean Countdown, in the NFL! Check out more of my "shite" @!

10) "Kurt Warner MVP, Kurt Warner MVP!!!"

Those were the chants heard around the blogosphere after ageless Kurt led the Cardinals to victory the past three weeks.

Many of us pundits did not take note that those three Cardinal wins came against three lower tier teams:

St. Louis, San Francisco, and Seattle.

The Cardinals were exposed tonight against the Giants.

Top NFL team?

Ummmm...maybe top 10, but certainly not top five!

The only thing I could think about with regard to Kurt Warner on Sunday night was how much of the Arizona Desert sky he was taking in from laying on his back!

9) Brady Quinn tossed two picks and no touchdowns after getting pulled for Derek Anderson in the third quarter.

The line on Quinn: 8-18, 94 yards passing, no touchdowns, two interceptions.

Looked more like a Texas BBQ in the Dawg Pound then anything else.

Brady Quinn? Meet Brian Bosworth.

The two of you may have something in common.

My advice to Brady: If I were you Brady, I would keep doing as many high potency vitamin commercials as I could over the next year.

You never know what tomorrow may bring.

Romeo Crennel, sure ain't no "romeo" when it comes to his quarterbacks!

John Gruden, do you and Romeo date?

8) It had been rumored that Matt Cassel was just a glorified high school quarterback playing in the NFL.

Hmmm, the dude passes for 400+ yards for the second straight week and leads New England to victory over AFC East rival Miami.

The proposed price tag on Cassel for next year?

Eight mils and rising.

Matt Cassel meet Eminem. You two might have something in common.

Slim Shady plays quarterback for New England Patriots.


7) A dysfunctional family in Philly has finally gone public (again).

Andy Reid, possibly in an act of "fatal attraction" oops... I mean, desperation, pulls beleaguered Donovan McNabb from the lineup after McNabb throws two (two) interceptions in the first half against Baltimore.

Enter, back up quarterback Kevin Kolb, who promptly throws two (two) more interceptions, one of which is returned for 108 yards for a touchdown by Raven safety, Ed Reed.

Embarrassment, dissension, and bewilderment in Philly.

Bye Bye Birdies!!

I didn't know Canadian geese and eagles had so much in common.

Both like to fly south in late November.

Wait, eagles don't migrate, do they?

On that note, Donovan to Chicago?

Home Sweet Home?

You Betya!!

6) Dial T.O., Dallas GO, GO, GO!!!

It appears that Tony Romo has found his mojo with regard to getting T.O. the ball once again.

T.O. looked like a man amongst boys out there today, and I am not talking about his teammates.

T.O. being T.O.

"Just get TO the dang ball"

The TO line: 7 catches, 213 yards, one touchdown...and a lot of spilled popcorn!

Wade "Super Duper" Phillips?? na- na- na-na- nahhhhhh!!!

5) Buffalo did "whaaaa?" to the Chiefs?

Buffalo Bills fans, you were not dreaming.

This was not the Oklahoma Sooners playing Texas Tech.

This was the Buffalo Bills putting up 54 on the punch drunk Chiefs.

This game was not as much a testament about what the Bills offense, but more about the Chiefs' putrid D!

Herm Edwards, instead of, "Just win the darn game." How about, "How do I get my defense to make a tackle?"

Buffalo's game plan against the Chiefs? "Call a play and change the score!"

No wonder why Trent Edwards was so eager to implement the game plan against the Chiefs.

Will someone please tell the Chiefs defense that this is not, "two hand touch!"

4) Are the Jets on crack, or are we?

The Jets just made it look too gosh darn easy against the undefeated Titans today.

Talk about clicking on all cylinders...

The Jets looked machine like in their dismantling of the Titans today in Memphis.

The Jets made the Titans look downright bad.

And it's not ALL about Brett.

Can you say, Leon "The Whisper" Washington?

Two touchdowns, 82 yards on eight carries? Ridiculous.

Oh yeah, Chris Johnson, I feel your pain.

I see you and Kris Jenkins are close buddies now.

3) Will the real Jay Cutler, "please stand up?"

What's up with this guy?

Every week we want to believe (excuse me, every other week we want to believe) and every other week we are let down AGAIN.

This Sunday was no different at Mile High. The line on "Cuts like a knife?" 16-37, 234 yards, no touchdowns, one interception, and lots of frustrated Bronco receivers.

There were whispers about Cutlers ability to stay calm, cool, and collected in order to control his immense talent coming out of college.

Those whispers are now louder than an ill-timed Cutler audible.

I am starting to believe that Cutler is looking more like Tommy Maddox than John Elway.

2) Jake Delhomme, do you and Jay Cutler hang out together?

Yo! Steve Smith, would you please give both of these guys a beat down for me?


Just kidding...Not really?

Believing in the Panthers, John Fox, and Jake Delhomme is like playing the game, "Peek-a-boo, I see you!" with your kid before nap time.

Your kid laughs hysterically at you when you act all stupid, when you make believe that you are not there as you cover up your face, when you really are.

Your kid gets tired from laughing so hard and well...falls asleep.

Here's the problem with John Fox and Jake Delhomme. Some weeks, these two like to play this game DURING A REAL NFL GAME!!

This Sunday? Nappy time!

PS: Jake woke up sometime in the fourth quarter, with the game pretty much out of reah, padding his stats with a touchdown run and pass, keeping his "fantasy faithful" at bay for one more week.

1) Philip Rivers: Biggest tease in the NFL.

Just when we think Philip is going to be a stellar All-Pro quarterback year in an year out, he always leaves us wanting....

...and his horrified looking coach, Norv Turner pining away for more out of his talented quarterback.


How many more time will we watch Philip throw a third down pass late in the game for eight yards when he needs nine, usually around the other team's 40-yard line with two minute left in the game?

Next, watch Philip drive the team down the field with ease, then pass for eight yards when the Bolts need nine with about a minute 30 left to play.

Electing not to go for it on 4th-and-1, Norv punts the ball back to the other team, who, in turn, get the ball back with about a minute left.

Now, watch the other team complete about two to three passes for 20-30 yards and kick a 50-yard field goal to win the game as time expires.

Now, watch as the television camera pan over too a dejected L.T. on the bench with a towel over his head.

Now watch Norv Turner look as if he has just seen a ghost.

Now watch Philip shake his head with a look of frustration on his face.

Then watch Philip and trot across the field to congratulate the other teams victorious quarterback.

Wow, it must be hard being San Diego Charger fan!


Happy Thanksgiving!


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