Vulnerability, Dreams, and Aspirations

Monday, February 19, 2007

Vulnerability, Dreams, and Aspirations.
Current mood: worried

I would like to thanks my guest, Niki Notarile, CATWOMAN, for a great show last nite!!! I watched the whole show afterwards on tape, and I liked it! I learned alot about Niki and how she has "arrived and evolved" with CATWOMAN! I am going to have clips posted very soon.

On another note, I had a rough night logistically, and was a bit distracted. While setting up for the show, I knocked over my camcorder (webcam) onto the floor and basically broke my camera. I have limited functionality with it now, and am trying to calm down enough in order to find a solution to this problem. I ought to slow down a bit, and be more methodical, like the old TIMEX commercials, "It takes a licking, but keeps on ticking!"

Also, it appears that I am starting a new viewership here for the show, "Dear Immaculately Groomed Italian Guy." In the past, I was a bit dependent on my friends from www.tomgreen.com, who have been so generous with their support here. I am finding new viewers as a result of my guests bringing their audience, emails to friends and family, and word of mouth. Finding a viewership for me is an ORGANIC process, staying in the present, acknowledging all you folks who have taken the time to watch the show, and, in general, listening and learning.

Another curiosity about the show is the attention that I am getting form the PORN industry. I have been contacted about having PORN stars on the show, and I must say, I have a comedic fascination with it. In Europe, porn is watched on mainstrream TV and there is a comedic element to the whole thing (from what I have been told.) I am NOT one to go straight for the LOWEST denominator when it comes to using SEX and LUDENESS for a quick fix, or as a substitute (crutch) for developing a comedic personality. I prefer to find humor in the subtle qualities of life, the small things, the "dead air." So regarding PORN, I am interested, if not fascinated, by the "PORN" psychology, the HARDCORE aspect of porn, and in a way, the reality of it all. I would like to have a normal conversation with a PORN STAR perhaps, one that did not involve the topic of SEX. My Porn Star topics: "Where did you grow up?" "Do you come from a big family?" "Do you like to go bowling?" "What was your other FAVORITE JOB?" Stuff like that.

In closing, these past few weeks have been an incredible learning experience, not only from a technical and comedic aspect, but from a psychological one. I am learning that being in front of a camera and projecting oneself to the world can make one vulnerable to all kinds of things such as: criticism, dealing with some weird people, legality, personal safety, rejection, and overall "fragility." It sure beats the alternative for me, which is isolation, fear, and being stagnant.

The sun is coming up here on the East Coast. It's 6:33AM and the dawn of a NEW day. I am going to put the camera issue behind me, rest up a bit, and start looking ofr a new guest for "Dear Immaculately Groomed Italian Guy." I hope you all have a great week! Stay tuned for clips of last night's show with Niki Notarile, CATWOMAN.