I Drink Apple Juice

Rapping By Myself Anthology (con't)

All ya playas step aside
I'm ready to rumble
I'm ready to ride
take bite out y'all Sucka MC's hide.

Y'all can sittin right there
drinking your gin and your beer
That hooch ain't for me
I drink Apple Juice, seriously

Y'all think I've gone soft
sitting here in my loft
Let me say it a little louder
for those with brains of chowder

Apple Juice is my drink
contrary to what ya might think
Apple Juice is my middle name
Keeps me sharp, on top of my game

When I'm walkin in the hood
thinking about my afternoon snack
I stop in the local bodega
and scoop up all my loose changa

You know what I'm grabbin
it ain't no Bud or Pabst Blue Ribbon
It's my favorite drink of the Apple variety
rich in vitamins, minerals, help me with anxiety

I prefer this healthy drink
the ladies like it too
I'm stayin in my groove it's true
I prefer a healthy brew

All of you new playas to the game
listen to what I have said
Apple Juice will keep you out of the red
don't drink too much
it might make ya'll a bit crazy in your head.

I'll like the Apple Juice with crackers,
you know, I'm talking saltine,
with a a little peanut butter and jelly,
that the typical routine

And if I'm feeling really fly
I'll cut some celery and carrot sticks too
Hold on a second, I am almost through

Drink your Apple Juice
enjoy your snack as if it's your last
especially if your a Sucka MC
challengin me to a freestyle blast

If I were you, I would drink alot of Apple Juice
and every other mind altering thing
cuz my raps are gonna make ya'll dizzy
making your mind kinda fuzzy
gonna hit ya with that special zing
gonna make feel that funky freestyle sting

Chetters and Biscuits

Rapping by Myself Anthology (con't)

I don't want to be petty
don't wanna tell no lie
when I got extra chetters
I buy my dog
the best biscuits
money can buy

This might be extravagant
might be way out of line
but my dog Charlie
never whimpers or whines

Charlie dog is da whack
he watches my back
always at attention, always ready to attack

He's the finest of Chihuahua stock
I've seen him go after the baddest
rottys and pits on my block.

His fangs are laser sharp
shows em off with a big snarl
this playa never throws in the towel

When we go for walks
all the ladies say he's so handsome
most are ready to pay a small ransom

I have to pull him away
he's like a rock star
everyone wants him to stop and play

Back at home
Charlie likes to take naps
He's got a nice doggie bed
likes to lay down in it
especially after he's just fed

Once in awhile
Charlie barks, even gives a growl
always keeping watch
always on the lookout
especially for Sucka MC's on the prowl.

Sucka MC's know who you are
The ones who steal my stuff
that's why I got Charlie
cuz he's super tough

So ya'll do me a fava
when you got some extra chetters
don't be a mooch, take care of your pooch
Remember your dog can be your savior.

He's our best friend
to the end, he will defend.

My Zucchini

All you sucka MC's

Not one of you can cook a zucchini like me
Y'all can't cook zucchini, not one darn recipe

First you have to choose the zucchini
make sure it's the right color
texture and odor

Don't fight for your zucchini at the market
let the ole lady take it, just let it go
besides, you can ask her questions
ask her how to cook a zucchini casserole

Once you pay the clerk for your zucchini
don't give her no gangster looks
she might take that zucchini
and hit you over the head
for your smooth prankster tricks

Now that your at home
I can see your confused,You ask,
"What the heck am I to do?
If I can't cook this zucchini,
I might be done, I might be through."

This is where ole school steps in,
taking that zucchini for a magic carpet ride
gonna whip up that zucchini,
something to give you pride.

Let's make Zucchini Chips
they're easy to make
go well with a big juicy steak

Slice your zucchini in thin slices
then make a nice batter
take care not to splatter

Get some bread crumbs
take your battered zucchini chips
roll em, give em a couple flips

Once you get that zucchini all nice
heat up some olive oil
pour yourself a bourbon on ice

Get the frying pan hot
when the olive oil starts poppin
it's time for some zucchini droppin

Once the zucchini hits the pan
get ready for the master plan
Put the stove on low heat

Let the zucchini do its thang
Add your favorite spices
For a lil extra zang.

Now that the zucchini is all done
lay it out on a plate
make sure the zucchini
has that crispy taste

Your guests will be in ecstasy
zucchini chips all nice and zesty
you just made a great dish
Now here's a HOLIDAY WISH!

Rap Splatter

Rapping By Myself Antholgy (con't)

This ain't no Hollywood scene
or tinsel town dream
this is ole school rippin
hamburger flippin
can see the juices drippin

Turn up the grill
do not procrastinate
my burgers are hot
my burgers are great

Once those patties
look tender and rare
break out some secret ingredients
don't tell, never share

Those patties look so good
all juicy with special flava
Hamburger Helper
was never quite a savior

Don't mess with wonder bread,
for this fine hamburger feat
you'll want a kieser roll
to complete this tasty treat

Now that this fine burger is complete
You have to clean the grill
make it tidy and neat

Until next time,
do me a favor
When your'e checkin my Rap Splatter
Bring your own dish
Bring your own platter.

My Box of Cheerios

Rap Anthology (con't)

I got my box of cheerios
make y'all delirios

I mix in strawberries
soy milk and banana
I'm looking more like Tony Montana

Some call this a mockery
others say I'm fly
when I am downin my cheerios
it's like rapper drive by

I love crunching my cheerios
they stay crispy for a long time
I stir em and mix em
put them in crazy shapes
I position and transfix em

Sometimes I break out honey or brown sugar
to make my cheerios more interesting
it goes all around the bowl
mesmerizing, fascinating.

So all you hungry MC's
that got now here to turn
just drop some cheerios
especially when you got calories to burn

The cheerios will make y'all feel better
their healthy and crunchy
and go well with peanut butter

Ya'll can eat Wheaties, Bran Chex, or whatever
I'm tellin ya right now
it's the cheerios
that will be around forever.