Saturday, January 26, 2008

South Carolina SC Democrat Democratic Primary Update


It's All About the Chickens!

COLUMBIA, S.C. — Democratic voters were taking their time Saturday in the first southern fried chicken wing eating contest of the presidential campaign, the final cook off before the race expands and contracts into a state-by-state fight for the party’s chickens.

Senator Barak Obama made a stop at Chicken Little's restaurant in Columbia, S.C., on primary day.

As Senators Barak Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton and former Senator John Edwards made last-minute appeals for more blue cheese and hotter sauce, thousands of chickens clucked on street corners, manned telephone banks and drove themselves to chicken coops that opened across the state at 7 a.m. and will close at 7 p.m in order to protect themselves.

Party officials were predicting a record-setting cook off. Throughout the state, party officials said they had early reports of massive chicken wing consumption, in predominantly white and black chicken precincts. Several precincts in Perdue County, on the state’s northern edge, had surpassed their complete chicken wing totals from four years ago by early afternoon. Officials said similar eating patterns were coming in from Aiken County, on the Georgia border.

Four years ago, about 600,000 chickens voted in the presidential primary here, but officials are predicting that as many as 1,000,000 chickens could participate this time.

With 45 senior chicken delegates on the Democratic National Convention stake, which will be divided among the candidates, South Carolina offers the most diverse chicken wing eating contest to date in the party’s chicken wing season. Black chickens, party officials predict, will make up at least half of the electorate.

A combative week long eat off, particularly between Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton, as well as former President Bill Clinton, closed largely with positive reviews. Yet during a rally here that concluded just before midnight on Friday, Mr. Obama made an oblique reference to his rivals eating habits imploring the chickens believe in his call for change.


“After the chickens won Iowa, everyone was so excited. Everybody said, "Oh, look at this, an African-American is winning in a state with almost no African-Americans and all the chickens are excited, even young chicks came out,” Mr. Obama said. “Well, you know what? The chickens are not giving up that easily.”

Mrs. Clinton dashed to several sites across the state to greet other chickens. She was scheduled to fly to Tennessee for a Saturday rally, some of her favorite chickens in tow, one of several signs that the campaign was seeking to lower chicken wing consumption in the state. Citing her sensitivities to chickens inability to fly, she decided to take her campaign bus to Tennessee instead.

Meanwhile, Mr. Obama got a break from eating wings and made calls to key political leaders to drop by Chicken Little's Restaurant near downtown Columbia. He greeted nearly every chicken in the restaurant, including Ms. Bird Brain, 42 who said she is a lifelong Republican but voted for Mr. Obama on Saturday.

“He’s an appetizer,” said Ms. Bird Brain, a neurochickenologist in Columbia. “I think he can bring chickens together. For me, well he made me shake my tail feathers, I’m a convert now.”

With chickens in New Hampshire and Nevada on Mrs. Clinton’s side, Mr. Obama is seeking to pluck every feather in advance of 22 chicken coop caucuses on Feb. 5. Mr. Edwards, who was born in South Carolina, was looking to eat as many atomic wings as possible to stay alive.

The cook off took place against a backdrop of intense clucking. One poignant reminder of South Carolina’s historic chicken tensions, the Chicken flag, was swaying in the cool breeze on Saturday only a few yards from where chickens waved their wings for Mr. Obama, who would become the nation’s first "chickens come first" president.

Some of Mr. Obama’s strategists worried that the discussions on chickens could influence the outcome here on Saturday and drive some chickens away from Mr. Obama’s candidacy, boosting the efforts of Mr. Edwards or Mrs. Clinton.

Fog Horn Leg Horn, a senior adviser to the Obama campaign, disagreed with the suggestion that support from chickens had decreased or that the cook offs would be a deciding factor in the primary’s outcome.

“At the end of the day, I believe that South Carolina's chickens are going to look beyond the clucks and be more concerned about issues,” Mr. Leg Horn said. “You have to build a broad chicken based coalition. It’s the only way you can eat wings in this state.”


Mr. Edwards began his day with a morning stop at a store in Mount Pheasant, outside Charleston, but realized he was in the wrong fowl town, and turned back. He did however, stop to shake hands with all the local pheasants and posed for pictures before he left. Speaking to reporters, he called Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama “two candidates who are devoting all their time and energy to eating chicken wings." Edwards added, "there are so many other types of fowl that need attention, I think Barack and Hillary are putting all their eggs in one basket."

Edwards vowed to continue in his bid for the Democratic nomination, no matter what the result of the South Carolina cook offs. “I keep meeting and greeting different kinds of fowl no matter what,” he said, "there is more to life than just chickens."

Later in the morning, Mr. Edwards stopped at a chicken coop in Columbia, accompanied by the Big Red Rooster, a South Carolina state representative who has since abandoned Mr. Edwards.

In an appearance on the “Today” show Saturday morning, Mr. Edwards called himself “an advocate for ALL fowl rights” and said he believed the circumstances of the cook offs have changed him this week.

“I think things have changed some this week, because of what happened in the chicken wing eat off,” Mr. Edwards said. “I think what chickens want in South Carolina along with all kinds of birds and fowl, are things that affect their lives, like chicken feed, worms, and adequate nesting places to lay eggs.”

At the end of the day a reporter asked Mr. Edwards if he thought he could still win. Mr. Edwards, seemingly agitated and confused by the question, turned and bellowed, "Do chicken's fly?"

Labels:

Chewin Gravy

Who chews gravy?
I never have
not even a "maybe."

I like gravy
I put it on all my favorite dishes
and sometimes if my dinner guests
have special wishes

I like gravy on pork
steak and french fries

On second thought, I guess I chew gravy
cuz it's on the food
there ain't no compromise

If your'e asking me why I'm talking about this
I don't really know
I like the gravy
it makes the food more delicious

Tantalizing my taste buds
The gravy makes the food more appetizing
creates good conversation
while socializing

A good gravy stock is not hard to make
don't fool around
acting like you gonna swipe my gravy,

There's plenty you can take
just don't get greedy, don't be a fake.

There is no compromise when making your gravy
or else it might taste like cat food,
I have never tasted cat food,
but it smells pretty bad,
there's gravy in it too,
not the right kind
you might go blind

So the next time you think about chewing your gravy
remember this rhyme
we don't want you to end up in the hospital
going crazy or doing some hard time!

My Mind is a Thought Balloon

When I get ready to do my thing
when I get ready to burn, when I get ready to sting

I imagine my mind is a thought balloon
ready to spit out another amazing tune

You might like to try it sometime
probably in the morning up until noon

It's pretty cool ya see
treating your mind like it's empty
seeing what words you can stuff into
the thought balloon routine

I know it doesn't seem like much
I guess it's better than getting stuck
in some mindless boredom trip
better to be active than to let your mind slip

Its a process to be enjoyed rather to be endured
using your mind, yeah, that thing thats so tortured

Thought balloons are used in all kinds of ways
some simple, I use em to clear my "mind haze"

Mr. Rogers benefited from them
He used thought balloons on his show
it looked cool
probably made him all kinds of dough.

Don't let this diddy scary ya
I'm not loosing my mind
just developing a regular kind of flow.

It might be out there
It might be silly
It might be stupid

I'm just interested in creating
something that's fluid

So until the next time
we re-convene
give the thought balloon idea a try
not when you are high

Try it while you are sober
don't wait until October

If at first you don't succeed
don't give up
keep trying
remember to plant the seed
you'll have accomplished an admirable deed

Come up with your own kind of code
develop a new kind of mode

If you try you just might succeed
and not end up like all the other
SUCKA MCS!!!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Alice Cooper

...still kicks ASS! AND he is light years ahead of his time.

PS: I am going to draw a portrait of Alice this weekend and post it here.

www.alicecooper.com






Mr. Rogers, Google Earth, and Censorship

I would love to see "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" come back to television. There was something about Mr. Rogers that was so wonderful. As a kid, if I had a bad day at school, I would come home and turn on the television, and there he was talking about all the wonderful things about the neighborhood and the world in general.

I wonder what Mr. Rogers would have thought of such new internet technologies like "Google Earth." I bet Mr. Rogers would do a special on how every single one of us, rich or poor, with access to the internet, could take a "virtual" ride around this wonderful vast world of ours, and actually "see" all the neighborhoods, cities, countries, and beautiful wide open vistas of this wonderful planet. One can even chart the stars in the galaxy and create unique three dimensional models amongst other incredible tools offered for "FREE" to everyone, compliments of Google Earth.

Now, what if Mr. Rogers were CENSORED from showing us Google Earth because "someone at the controls" was concerned about certain business relationships, negative media attention, or just some other arbitrary reason. Hundreds and thousands of young people out there in the world would never learn about the wonderful world of Google Earth. What a shame, what a pity.

On that note, if anyone would like to cast me for a new "super hero" role of Mr. Rogers, please drop me a line. I will fight the "powers that be" and "stand tall" against such things as censorship and excessive corporate control. How about a "Mr.Rogers Neighborhood - UNCENSORED" show? Now there's an idea!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Bored?

Bored? I just found a fun thing to do to pass the time. Download Google Earth http://earth.google.com/download-earth.html and imagine you are an alien from outer space flying around everywhere taking pictures. Spy on an ex, swoop down on your favorite childhood playground. You can even land your craft at any airport in the world. Have fun and send pics of all your travels!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

New Rap - Immaculate Tomato

I love to cook
that ain't no secret
I am the Immaculate One,

Italian descent
is my main ingredient.

Now that you all be standing around
gonna tell ya how to get down,

In the kitchen that is
after all, this is show biz.

Stop all your whining,
get ready for some fine dining.

Today I have an Immaculate Tomato
full of flavor, no need for bad behavior.

Slice the tomato thin
we're gonna keep it raw.
No worries
the tomato is rich in vitamins and flavor
it's got no fatal flaw.

I use it in all my favorite dishes,
sauces, and all that is delicious.

Forget the barbeque grill and
all that heavy stuff
staying away from all that fancy fluff.

Just lay down some olive oil
couple sprinkles of oregano

That will do the trick
no need to put on a show
You might need to add a sprinkle of salt.

Don't overdue it with the salt
it will bring everything to a halt.

The salt is for added flavor
more for you to savior.

Oh, and one last thing,
take out the balsamic vinegar
an added dimension for your taste buds.

Just a pinch of vinegar, drizzle it
over the Immaculate Tomato slices,
yes we are trying to avert
a junk food crisis.

Now you're ready to eat
a gourmet dish prepared in a heart beat.

Just to review...
Cut the Immaculate Tomato in thin slices,
drizzle a lil olive oil and vinegar,
here comes the oregano and salt
mix those two together.

Throw a pinch onto the tomato
drizzle the vinegar and oil.

Eat it raw
this fresh delightful treat,
heck you just might get addicted
to my Immaculate cooking feat!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

New Rap - "Wordsmithology"

Bring it back y'all...

Sittin right here at my deck
plucking, rhymin
twistin my world
into rap dynamo-mite

Expanding my vocabulary
like lifting weights
reaching for new heights

My world is like a refrigerator
all kinds of good foodies
all kinds of stuff
none of that spoils eazzy
go ahead and take a bite lil weezy

All young mc's listen up
listen hard, listen right
This is a rap Superbowl

I'm callin the plays
watch my words light up
I'm not talkin blunts either

I'm talking missiles and rocket ships
that blast off into the night

I'm callin for an all out hip hop blitz
gonna melt the field
and the competition
with one or two solid licks

Don't bother showin up
unless your'e in tip top shape
ready to rhyme
ready to bring it
ready to tape.

So stop all your cryin
blamin and whinin
it's time to grow up
and learn from an aficionado

No, this is not the time
to end this rhyme
with a two letter word
that ends in "O."

Don't come back
until your'e confident
with your word choice
and ready to fly solo.

Monday, January 21, 2008

New Rap - "Rambletopia"

Bring dat beat back...

Sitting up all nite
rhymnin, rippin
having a rap heart attack

I got you in my site
without hesitation
I'm gonna git it right

My words are righteous
knockin out sucka MC's
zapping em like mosquitos
using my mind
killing em with my word torpedos

Ya'll singing about chetters and cheese
and all that slimy sleeze
pre packaged back beat fame
gonna give you some of my no frills game

I'm throwing my hat in the rang
gonna given yo some of my notorious zang

Whaddup dog?
Ya'll bark and no bite
Let me rip something in your ear
hopin to get some kind of fight

I am a free style wizard
this shitzy spills outa me
just like dat buck fiddy
you punkin from some Hollywood stoolie
hoping he can get more outta yo
weak azz boolie

So come on moody
come and get some
let me hear that low dull hum
words with no hearts
come on ya'll lil pop tarts

I have adopted Brooklyn
for a reason
to come to grips with
all this hip hop treason

Singing the words just ain't enough
without a red beating heart
ya'll finished
before I even start

So come on y'all
I'll be the turtle
You can be the hare

we'll see who can win
this freestyle truth or dare.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

New Rap - "Positutely!"

Laser beams, eggs and cheese
You can hear me coming
All Sucka MC's
Down on YO knees

My rhymes got y'all in a tangle
Your raps are so yesterday
negativity gone all astray

Listen to my words
talkin food and all that stuff
acting all tuff
I write better than you far_.

Sittin up all night
trying to be creative
I'm all up in YO grill
given you that ole school shiver
that ole school thrill.

Yo mind is all twisted with negativity
who cares if you getting a buck fiddy
Yo just playing to da machine
Ya'll need to get yo minds sharp and nimble
Ya'll getting caught on the double dribble.

Getting paid ain't the end of the road
Y'all gots to show at the big hotel
Your flow got me thinkin
I got to lay it on thick
cuz your raps be stinkin
Like a certain
Brooklyn sewage plant

Yesterdays news
singing your lame azz blues
my stereo just blew a fuse
See,! listening to your raps
now I gotta cruise.

Peter Coffin - "Smilentology!"









"POSITIVITY" - A new world movement!



Listen up Peeps,

I am spearheading a new world wide movement. It's called "POSITIVITY!" I have decided that there is just too much negative stuff going on and if we all get together and think positive thoughts together, well gosh darn it...the world just might change. So on the count of three, let's step out of our negative thoughts and think POSITIVE!!! Come on people, step out of the shadows and look at that big beautiful world out there!! 1...2...3! GO!!!

Stay tuned for more POSITIVITY updates coming soon!!

Hurry, in fact, RUN!!!..there is no time to waste...tell your mum, dad, boyfriends and girlfriends, aunties and uncles alike!!! THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN!!! Right in front of our eyes!!! POSITIVITY ROCKS!!!